Flunking out of classes? Consistently receiving angry lectures from teachers? Can't take decent notes for the life of you? You're probably guilty of one of the following.
1.) You procrastinate. "That essay isn't due for another thirty-six hours! I have time for another Doctor Who marathon."
2.) You're disorganized. "Is there supposed to be a moldy Snickers bar in my pencil bag?"
3.) You get lost in your thoughts. "I like the color of that Expo marker. I should get a whiteboard so I can use a marker like that. Mom wouldn't let me get a whiteboard when I was younger... Maybe she'll get me one for Christmas. OMG, it's almost Christmas! I hope we have ham..."
4.) You get distracted way too easily. "It's raining outside. College, where am I gonna go for that? Wow, the rain's really - Hey, that's a nice sweater."
5.) You just don't care. "F*ck it."
6.) You have terrible handwriting. "olfing
is for men in khakis"
7.) You don't know how to format a paper. "What do you mean four inch margins aren't acceptable?"
8.) You cheat. "What is this "honor code" you speak of?
9.) You don't show up. "What? I thought every school had Flag Day off..."
10.) The opposite sex. "Does this one even need an example?"
11.) Your class is distracting and obnoxious. "And so the angle would equal - class, please be quiet. (Small pause) So the angle would be equivalent to - STOP. TALKING. Please! (Long pause) The angle would be approximately - THAT'S IT! DUCT TAPE TIME!"
12.) You're level of respect is somewhat non-existent. *punches teacher in the face*
13.) You're always unprepared. "Hey, can I borrow a pencil? And some paper? And your shirt?"
14.) You don't do the work. "Twenty-five page assignment on Frederick Douglass? More like Taco Bell and iFunny."
15.) You're sexually frustrated. "I should've been a slut."
16.) You lack motivation. "I don't think I want to go to college. Or to the grocery store. Or out of my bed."
17.) You're too dependent. "Dad, can you chew this food for me?"
18.) You fear public-speaking. "Um, 'Religion and Exploration During the 17th Century'... Uh, it's - the two are tied together becau- oh. Excuse me, um, I need to go change my pants."
19.) Education isn't your thing. "Dude, I just want to travel around Europe and sell paintings out of the back of a van, to be honest."
20.) Your life is on the Internet. "Come on, whose isn't anymore?"
Happy Blogging.
- Lindsey M.
